With snakeskin shoes back in fashion, we could get plenty of nice EU funding
to set up snake farms in the midlands.
2. Because there
are so many Irish Eves just hanging around orchards dithering about the
3. Because all
those politicians, lawyers and traffic wardens must need company.
4. Because their
arrival might encourage a few of those fine snake-hipped Latino men to
make the move across the pond.
5. Because centres
could be set up for double-crossed women who need practice in shouting
"You snake!" with the right shade of outrage.
6. Because it's
just plain weird that only us and New Zealand don't have them.
7. Because primary
schools could save money on zoo entry fees - small children could be terrified
in the safety of their own gardens.
8. Because we need
something new to get Freudian about.
9. Because why
should Ireland's snake fetishists suffer from one dead saint's anti-serpent
10. Because maybe
if we had some real snakes in the grass, there wouldn't be so many spin
doctors, journalists and tax inspectors.